Yayyyyyy for mamas!

Motherhood has been the ongoing musing of the week.

((((my mom refers to this blog as my "musings." I like it.))))

Yesterday my mom was on my brain.  I pulled weeds for the first time in my life, and all I could think about was how proud my mommy would be of me for pulling weeds.

HA! I'm ridiculous. First time pulling weeds? who am I???

Today I removed the horrific wallpaper border in our downstairs bathroom (if you love Thomas Kinkade, I apologize for the insult, but it was horrific. see photo below.)  As I was scraping and spraying and spraying and scraping to get this obnoxious wallpaper out of my life forever, my sweet mother's voice was in the back of my mind, reminding me that I can do anything my male counterpart (or the people we hire to do the job) can do. 

goodbye, hideous Thomas Kinkade wallpaper. You will not be missed.

As I live longer, I get better at processing and understanding the daily happenings in my life.

Lately I've thought about what it must have been like to be my mother as I grew up.  

I wonder what it was like sending me to school for the first time.

I wonder how my mother felt when I won the spelling bee in 5th grade.

I ache at the thought of how my mother felt when I drank myself unconscious at the ignorant age of 13 and she was the one who had to take me to the hospital.

I am amazed at the thought of how loving and honest my mother was with me as she separated from the man who gave me life, who she'd been married to for the last 23 years of her life.

I wonder how I will be at motherhood, and how I will instill the same values in my children that my mother has instilled in me.  I'm proud of who I've become, and mama is hugely to thank for that.

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in February of 2010.  It was the most tumultuous year of my life.  I had just finished grad school, begun my career, was living with the man I knew I'd someday marry, and all of a sudden my best friend in the entire world was very, very sick.  In the midst of all of these beautiful life changes, when it seemed I was finally living the life I had always dreamed of, nothing else mattered so much as to make sure my mom knew how loved she was.  I lost hope there for around a month, when I imagined my wedding without her, my baby's first steps without being able to call her and tell her all about it, and I've never been so deeply saddened.  

Mom received chemotherapy for a year, radiation for several months, and a double mastectomy in June of 2010.  She has since completed her treatments, and now proudly embraces the title of "cancer vixen."  I spend as much time as I can with my mom.  I love her in the truest sense of the word.  After our recent visits I've told Davo how positive she's become.  She's back to her old self, but even better.  She seems happier than she's been in a long time.  I hadn't shared with her my acknowledgement of her new attitude before I read her latest Facebook musing, which I've posted below.  Sounds like she knows she's back, too.... good on ya, Mamasita.  I'm so very proud to call you my mom and friend.

.....even though you misspelled "bedside manner," you silly girl.

"Anniversaries are on my mind. I woke up this morning after a good night's sleep blessed with some interesting dreams, made myself a great cup of coffee and put fresh white peaches in my morning yogurt. I paid some bills, renewed licenses for my car and my doggies, checked my calendar for the day (again), listened to a voice mail, talked to Human Resources then did the breakfast dishes. While I was rinsing the sink, it occurred to me that this morning was like mornings BC: Before Cancer. This time last year I was still in intense post-surgical recovery mode and just returning to work but had no energy for anything else.  As streams of consciousness and mindful thankfulness would have it, I then thought "Thank you, God!" Then I said aloud, "Thank you, Dr. Clarence "Should write the book on bedside manor - dish it out as you can wrap your head around it while respecting your intelligence" Sarkodee-Adoo, Dr. Joan "Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200, go straight into Herceptin" Dahmer, Ashley (the hands down sweetest nurse on earth) and Kara (the hands down best receptionist on earth) and those wonderful Chinese Hamsters whose ovaries saved my life. Thank you, Genentech research scientist who recognized a new application for something as common to research but so esoteric to the rest of us as Chinese Hamster ovaries. Thank you Diocese of Phoenix for excellent Blue Cross Blue Shield coverage. Then, once again, came a flood of gratitude for all my friends and family who showed up with patience, understanding, companionship, optimism, lies, smiles, ears, fresh vegetables, patience, rides, meals, lawn care, shade, trips to the farmer's market, patience, vegetable garden weeding, did I say patience? Thank you Bahney Dedolph, Claudia Ness, Vicki Davis, George Davis, My staff at Catholic Charities Westside Head Start, Deb and Dan Hermann, Paula Hernandez, Steven Vitali, Kristen Schmidt, Kim Castellano, my sisters Martha, Catrina and Linda, my daughters Erin and Laura, David Smith, Janet Nellis, Joann Braucher, Nancy and Tyrone Williams (and Annika, Sean, and Zane), Mary Jo Miller, David Castellano, Sha McFadden, my goddaughter Alix Davis, Merle Salus-Herbig, Penny Davis, The Wellness Community, Suzanne Jordan, Kathy LaTour and my own stubborn nature. I got a card that called me a “cancer vixen” (vixen not victim, get it?). I guess when it comes to cancer one can’t be too much of a shrew. I look back over this year and amaze even myself. It is great to be back. I missed me. I’m glad you were there for me when I was a bit distracted."

...she LOVES that Chinese hamster ovaries saved her life.  I'm pretty sure it's the coolest thing she's ever heard of. and the strangest. 

Anywho.

I'm proud of my mama, and I'm excited to someday be someone's mama.  I'm proud of my dear friends who have been mama's for years, are just entering into mamahood, and who just found out they're going to have their first little one sometime soon (like, March 14th.) 

love to you. 

..and your mama.

baby La and her Ma